Serenity

This is the finished piece "Serenity" I named this Serenity because it has the original first part of the Serenity prayer, at the domestic violence center, women say this at the end of counseling. This helps us get through tough times and accept what we cannot change, but be able to start to move on. Enjoy!!!

"Courage"

Here is my "Courage" piece. I found the quote online and thought it was appropriate for the healing process and a piece for donation to the women's shelter.l. This piece was inspired by one of the hands that I drew and colored with sharpie for another piece I was working on .

"Hands"

Here is my finished piece for donation to the women's shelter for domestic violence. The first picture is the whole piece and then I have close up's following. Enjoy!!!!

This piece is a representation of Hands. It shows all the different faces of hands we have and how we grow as a person. We make handprints of infants throughout our lives until we reach adulthood, showing how much we have grown and progressed. I think this piece shows the same progress as we heal from traumatic circumstances and our daily lives.

Artwork for Donation

I am creating a series of artwork for donation to the local domestic violence shelter. Hope Alliance, the local domestic violence center, hand a very big hand in my recovery from a domestic abuse situation with my son's father. I want to pay it forward and help other women that are going through what I have been through and encourage them the same way others. As I begin working on art pieces for the shelter, my students, where I am currently teaching in a High School, are constantly commenting on my pieces and inspired just by watching me create my artwork. This has me thinking that I need to share with them parts of my story and inspire them to dig down and create on a more personal level. As I near the end of this teaching year, I have already begun planning for next year’s courses. Many questions have come to my mind as I am planning, changing and adding new things as I go further in my grad course. Many things I find myself wondering are: How can I inspire my students? What projects can I give them that really get them thinking and creating on their own? How can I get them to dig down deep and create from their souls? How can I get them to create amazing artwork that they want to create? And How can I relate past artwork to their current lives? As I was talking to another teacher I found myself sharing my story with him and he posed the question: “Have you shared this with your students?” (Albert Demarest, personal communication, April 9, 2013). My answer was “No, how can I share something so personal with them?” Would that not break the line that we so cautiously walk on with our students anyway? How many parent phone calls would I receive by sharing my story? This is usually what most teachers think about before sharing anything personal with our students.

When I decided on this project of creating artwork for victims of domestic violence I constantly wondered how I would create anything that was as exceptional as the first piece that I did. And then I read this quote from Chap’s (2012) book, Live Through This and things became clearer, “Sometimes those primal screams on the canvas come out looking like the vomit of God, and you wonder how on earth you managed to do it. And then you’ve got a new problem: how will you ever do it again?” (Chap, S. pp 11-12).  I used my first piece of healing artwork as inspiration for the donation piece. I wanted to reuse several of the same images and text from the original piece. I started by tearing up domestic violence police reports I found online, along with a blank report. I then proceeded to cover them up so they are barely legible with purple and blue pastel colored paint in a very abstract style. I started writing down words that I found inspiring.  Healing, strength, valued, trust, free, courage, just to name a few. As I started thinking about what I wanted this piece to represent more words came to mind. I was cutting letters out from magazines and piecing them together, just as we pick up the pieces and create a new piece to the puzzle in our own lives. I also wanted to incorporate the chains being broken, as for me, that was one of the strongest images from previous works. I also included the lock with no key broken in two. For me, this is showing how strong we are in some of the toughest situations we go through. I painted a dove, which of course is one of the purest symbols of peace and love, I think there is. When I started painting the dove I built the paint up and it mixed on the canvas and blended the white and blue so beautifully. I drew in hands praying, as well as a key, flower and angel wings. I also plan to add the original Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen. (Wikipedia, 2013).

This piece is still in the works and will hopefully have more added to it in the next several weeks. Below is the work in progress.

 Work in Progress, No Name. 16 X 20 inches. Mixed Media. Andrea Johnson. 2013.

Work in Progress, No Name. 16 X 20 inches. Mixed Media. Andrea Johnson 2013

(Here is another picture of the progress I have made on this piece. It is done complete yet, but hopefully soon.)

As I put this piece down and started a project with my Art I students, using two pieces of poster board to create a slot sculpture. One of my students drew out his hand and then withdrew from school before the piece was finished. For some reason the hand drawing just struck me and I decided I would finish the piece he started. As I started working on the hand drawing it got me thinking about all different kinds of hands, and how we use our hands as a symbol of growth for young children. We paint children’s hand’s for mother’s day presents and to show how much they have grown from the day they were born, each year as they get older, and into an adult. I started tracing my own hands, in different positions, and then cut them out and drew all different designs on them. Some have words on them, some have patterns, some are more symbolic of an idea, etc. My original plan was to layer them all over a canvas and then paint on top, but the hands turned out so much better than expected, I didn’t want to cover them up and changed my thinking. Same as with first piece I started, I wrote all the hurtful words we hear in domestic violence situations, well at least the words I heard, and painted them in bold, black letters, and then washed over them with white and blue pastel colors, but so you can still see the black coming through but not very legible. I then took five of the hands I had created on the poster board and hot glued them to the canvas. In between the hands I painted positive words in white, covering up the black even more. Words like FREEDOM, STRENGTH, LIVE, HOPE, BEAUTY, COURAGE, DREAM, SERENITY, LOVE, and PEACE, words that give hope. This is as far as I have gotten on this piece as well, and hope to continue to add to it, images such as chains being broken, keys, dove, etc. I have so many ideas I know I have many more works to add to this series. 

(This was the first process I started with on the canvas, writing words that are hurtful in big, black, bold letters).

 Work in Progress, No Name. 16 X 20 inches. Mixed Media. Andrea Johnson. 2013.

Work in Progress, No Name. 16 X 20 inches. Mixed Media. Andrea Johnson. 2013.

(Close up of hands and chains) 

I am creating artwork that not only will continue to heal me on my journey but will inspire those that are just starting out on their journey, their path of healing. Art is healing for everyone that is willing to go through the process. I was watching the news and a story came on about juvenile offenders having a silent auction and art show. This is a rigorous program they go through while incarcerated. Art is another way for young people to heal and deal with their issues, as I was listening I couldn’t help but think about this project and my students. This quote from Gardner-Betts Art Auction website only confirms more of what the arts can do for our young people of today, “The art/music enrichment classes are offered to these juvenile offenders on the premise that art is a constructive outlet for emotional conflict, a positive strategy for anger management, and a means to foster self-awareness.” This brings me back to teaching, and planning for next year’s classes. The questions rise again, how much can I share with my students to get my point across and not cross any lines, between teacher and student? I then think about the blog we created for the research class and think about what I have shared with them. I want to share my story with my students in a way that focuses on my artwork and how powerful my art is, how powerful their art is and can be, how they can inspire others and create artwork, for more than just to create a pretty picture, but have more depth and meaning.  I want them to use their journals as a tool in the thinking process and research their ideas. I want them thinking about what they are creating and why they want to create their piece, what message are they trying to convey to the viewers, as well as how I can help them create this piece. I also want them to think about artists and artwork from the past to inspire their own artwork. When incorporating Art History into a lesson, most of the time students get the glazed over look and stop listening. I would like to incorporate an idea that I found from Edutopia website. After reading this excerpt “For example, I was in a history class last year and my teacher would always explain what happens in the Medieval World and the Renaissance. And after every lesson, every essay, every assignment, he asked us, "How does this event relate to current times?" It brought me to a greater thinking, a kind of thinking where I can relate the past to the present and how closely they are bonded together. If you relate the topic to the students' lives, then it makes the concept easier to grasp" I realized this was a great way to incorporate Art History with each lesson. In their journals, before they start any piece they will write those questions down and answer them to the best of their ability. I also want them to look at other artists for inspiration and include those artworks as well as where they retrieved those pieces from to look back on in their journals. I know that things will change and develop and go in directions they never thought possible if they stop and think about things before putting pen to paper, just like in English when we have a brainstorming session before writing the final paper. As a teacher, I, myself, also need to follow the same steps and set an example for my students, not only to show them how I would do it, whether it’s the right or wrong process, but also to help develop my own artwork in an even more in depth perspective.

The first project that I want to have my advanced art students do is the I am From poem.  I will show them several poems written by others artists or writers on George Ella Lyon’s website. On the website there are written poems and short videos with the poems. Then I will show them my poem.

I am From

By Andrea Johnson

I am from the fireworks that were once beautiful

And then fizzled out

I am from Star Wars and Texas Rangers baseball

To cousins, brothers and sisters

I am from nature and wildlife of wisteria and magnolia trees

that smell so sweet and grow so tall, to the divorce of my parents

I am from the single mother of 3 and becoming a Johnson from an Adcock and Ragan

My heritage follows me from Scotland to Germany to Ireland and a little bit of Indian

I am from high achieving success of first time family college graduate to an Art teacher

I am from the battered and broken, worthless and nothingness to the strong and confident mother

I am the insecure woman to the standing strong, protective mother of a beautiful, smart little boy

I am from the Texas dirt, the country girl at heart

I am from the pencil, the dust of the charcoal the drips of watercolor, the colors blending together and changing

I am the daughter of the Holy Spirit and our Lord and Savior, Father God

I am from the spring flowers, the colorful Gerber daisies blooming;

and the rays of sunshine

I am from a victim to a Survivor
I am in love with a wonderful man whom loves me back

I am from a woman of faith and serenity

I am from courage and inspiration to other women

I am loved

I am me

I am proud of who I have become, the mother, daughter, wife, sister I have always wanted and dreamed of being

I LOVE ME

I AM ME

After reading this out loud to them I want to show them my process for creating an artwork. To me this is as personal as you can get. Take them back to their roots and think about where they come from, where they are in life and where, as well as, whom they want to be in life. I think this will start the process of digging deep down and creating more personal artworks.

I will share parts of my story that are appropriate and my artwork inspired from my personal journey, and can only hope that by sharing a part of me that this will inspire my students in a different way. Rather than showing nothing but artwork from the past or lecturing about how to create something that often comes off meaningless and impersonal, I would rather inspire them to inspire others with their creativity, through my creativity. I am looking forward to the journey ahead of me and the challenges I face in the classroom with my students and getting them to create more than just a piece of art but something they can grow from. 

References

Chap, S. (Ed.). (2012). Live Through This. New York, NY: Seven Stories Press.

Gardner-Betts (2013). Gardner-Betts Art Auction. In Real Estate Council of Austin.  Retrieved May 13, 2013. From http://www.recaonline.com/index.php/events/gardner-betts-art-show-and-silent-auction.html

Lyon, G.E. (n.d.). Where I’m From. In George Ella Lyon. Retrieved May 3, 2013. From http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html

Niebuhr, R. (2013).  Serenity prayer.  In Wikipedia. Retrieved May 3, 2013. From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer

Wolpert-Gawron, H. (April 26, 2012). Kids Speak Out on Student Engagement. In Edutopia. Retrieved May 13, 2013. From http://www.edutopia.org/blog/student-engagement-stories-heather-wolpert-gawron

Pay it Forward

The journey of life is hard enough, with the daily trials and tribulations we go through, but when you hit bumps in the road that take longer to recover from; it makes life even harder to deal with. My journey has taken me down a path I never thought I would endure. Domestic Violence is a hard path to go down and even harder to recover from.  “An estimated one in every three women worldwide experiences violence, with rates reaching as high as 70 percent in some countries. Gender-based violence ranges from rape to domestic abuse and acid burnings to dowry deaths and so-called “honor killings””                                                                                                          (http://womenthrive.org/issues/violence?gclid=CMLytrXOvbYCFQrqnAodTmEAXg). My artwork has been a part of that journey of healing. I believe that art can help heal others as well. My goal for this project is to pay it forward by creating inspiring, encouraging, safe, and peaceful artworks. I will then donate the artwork to the shelter for women who are just starting their journey in the healing process to encourage them to continue on their path and give them a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.

The artwork that I have created, and will be creating, will not only help others, but also contribute to my own journey and healing. I have read many books along the way that have inspired me, made me think, rethink, and given me hope to keep going. I have realized that we have to constantly check ourselves, where we are in life, and make sure what we are doing is what is best for ourselves. “The real difficulty arises when we don’t sit down regularly to take the measure of our lives – whether the times be good or difficult” (Wicks, 2003, p.62). When we forget to take care of ourselves we forget why we are where we are. We then, no longer are happy or we might let others treat us horribly. Sometimes, we don’t even realize how we got to the point in our life where we are so unhappy, and then wonder what happened? When I hit that point in my life, I turned to my good friend, Sally, and confided in her. She had also been a victim of domestic violence and shared her story with me. Sally helped me make a plan to leave my situation (S. Antcliff, personal communication, November 30, 2008). I started making plans, saving money and taking care of myself again, with her help. My journey began my path of recovery, I started documenting everything, I exercised to help lose the weight I had gained and feel better about myself, and I created a separate bank account and a small business to save money. I started looking for teaching positions in the Austin area, where I planned on moving to, with the help of my parents. Many women are not given the opportunity or support from others to leave their abusers, but when they do leave, most have buried their feelings, the hurt, deep down and it is hard to bring to the surface. They have put on their mask, their hard shell, to deal with all of the pain and to shelter themselves from the world. Through counseling and art they are more able to bring those feelings out, cope with the situations, and start to move on and rebuild their lives.

A Window Between Worlds was founded by Cathy Salser, to help make a voice for those that could not speak. “In 1991, Cathy left her job as an art teacher and traveled from one domestic violence shelter to the next, living and making art with battered women and paying for gas and art supplies with portraits that she painted along the way. During the tour, she offered art workshops and training at thirty-two shelters in eighteen states from California to Massachusetts” (http://www.awbw.org/awbw/about-history.php). She has created more programs since then to aide in the recovery process.

“In 2012 alone, A Window Between Worlds: 

·         Expanded their services by 116% over the past four years within Los Angeles, and grew to reach over 16,500 women and children annually nationwide.

·         Worked with over 469 trained children's leaders and 321 trained women's leaders providing art workshops in 219 domestic violence programs in thirty states.

·         Provided 12,929 art workshops for women and children in shelters.

·         Trained 118 new leaders to facilitate art workshops for women and children.

·         Reached over 7,300 survivors through the Women's Windows Program (each participating in an average of 4-5 art workshops for a total participation of 30,000).

·         Reached over 9,200 children through the Children's Windows Program (each participating in an average of 4-5 art sessions for a total participation of 43,000).

·         Began children's art programs at 22 new sites and began women's art programs at 24 new sites (http://www.awbw.org/awbw/about-fact_sheet.php).

They have also started several exhibits for artists and survivors to display their artwork and bring awareness to domestic violence, some pledge to do everything they can to help end the violence. They have also started a children’s program to reach out to the children of domestic violence. Another article I read focused more on children and their recovery. I have found there are many therapists that specialize in working with children. My son went to a play therapist for a year to help deal with his anger, and frustration. He too had a hard time, expressing himself throughout this process and being too young to understand why he had to go to his father’s house without mommy. “Anger. Fear. Loneliness. Frustration. These are the monsters that gnaw away at the inner self, the familiar creatures that destroy self-esteem and leave in its place anxiety and pain. To children who may lack the skills or emotional resources to exorcise their monsters verbally, art therapy provides the means by which problems are brought into the open where they can be dealt with” (Robinson, n.d.).

The artwork I want to create is inspired by the work of Lily Yeh, and how she takes a horrible situation and creates something beautiful. This quote stated on her website is the mindset of so many victims of not only domestic violence but of many that go through trauma in their life. “Despair becomes the biggest problem as everyone—inside the community and out—loses faith that things can actually change. What’s needed most is a way to crack through that sense of hopelessness” (http://www.pps.org/reference/lyeh/). I want the artwork I create to have a different message from what I have found many artists putting forth and to be more on the positive side of things. Artwork that is encouraging, that gives them hope of rebuilding their life, that there is good in this world. I want to create a sense of peace, joy, and most of all hope. I want them to know that even after all the struggles and pain they can be happy again. They will be safe again. I want to encourage them to continue on their journey of healing, I do not want to shove the pain back in their face. “One of the most powerful things I learned,” Yeh told Yes magazine, “is that when you…transform your immediate environment, your life begins to change” (http://www.pps.org/reference/lyeh/). I believe this is so very true. When you are around negativity your life becomes more negative, and when you are around positive people and positive words you become positive, making your life a better place to be. I want to pay it forward and give women that are on their way to rebuilding their lives the first piece of that positive world for them to build upon.

References

Robinson, A. H. (n.d.). Art Therapy: Releasing Inner Monsters. Retrieved from International Art Therapy Organization: http://www.internationalarttherapy.org/ArtTherapy_DV.pdf

Salser, C. (1991). Fact Sheet. Retrieved from A Window Between Worlds: http://www.awbw.org/awba/about-fact_sheet.php

Salser, C. (1991). History. Retrieved from A Window Between Worlds: http://www.awbw.org/awbw/about- history.php

Wicks, R. J. (2003). Riding the Dragon: 10 Lessons for Inner Strength in Challenging Times. Notre Dame: Sorin Books.

Women Thrive Worldwide. (n.d.). Women Thrive Worldwide. Retrieved from Women Thrive Worldwide: http://womenthrive.org/issues/violence?gclid=CMLytrXOvbYCFQrqnAodTmEAXg

Yeh, L. (n.d.). Lily Yeh. Retrieved from Project for Public Spaces: http://www.pps.org/reference/lyeh/

Why Does She Stay?

 

At my group counseling I met a woman, Laura Beth Young. She is the founder of Cheerful Hearts. Her website is www.cheerfulhearts.com, she is a writer, poet, and a Life Coach. She was also struggling with issues of domestic abuse and not being able to remove her 3 boys from the situation. She moved here from another state and was also disabled. She was in a horrific car accident when she was younger and had been bed ridden for over 10 years. She needed medical procedures done that she could not get where she was and that her husband would not allow her to have done. Through her process in healing she wrote this poem and asked me to illustrate it. This was another piece that truly helped even more in my own healing process along with hers. I completely understood and related to the poem and we were on the same page as how to create the artwork to express the power of the words. The poem is

 "Why Does She Stay"

Why does she stay when he treats her so wrong?

So many wonder and desire to know?

She cries out for help, despair in her heart

But has difficulty letting him go

"Why did you allow him to treat you that way?"

A question asked time and again

I do not know, the only answer I could find

Once the relationship finally came to an end

Then I reached out for help, support and relief

My heart torn apart, with confusion and grief

This lead to the road, of uncovering the truth

A complicated unwinding of the present to the past

Revealing the transparency, of a wounded heart

Desiring deeply that her marriage would last

She learns why she stayed, it is a matter of the heart

That was manipulated, twisted and controlled

She loved this man with all that she had

And believed the lies she was told

Feelings of fear, how will she survive?

All rummage through her mind

So she tolerates the treatment time and again

Not knowing how to leave him behind

Until one day she has had enough!

She finds the courage from within

And with the support of loved ones

Takes flight from that life

Thus her journey of freedom begins!

by Laura Beth Young

When we started the process of creating this piece, she wanted a little girl looking up to show the innocence that has been lost. We both wanted hands breaking through the glass, one that is fighting and still bound by the past and one that is free and releasing the dove symbolizing the freedom and peace that is starting from the healing process. Just as in the first piece that I did, I have the chains being broken in this piece as well. Both of the pieces that I have done that have been so symbolic in my healing process and have also helped others in their healing. I have received updates from my counselor telling me that the artwork has found a new way of reaching out to another one of her clients. This is something that means so much to me. I have helped someone else in their healing and becoming of who they want to be. The piece above with the poem Laura Beth and I donated to Hope Alliance, the domestic violence center here. I know that it has made an impact on others as well. For me this has been such an incredible journey. I have healed so much and walked the path I never thought I would ever get down. I have fallen in love and am with an amazing man that loves me for me and pushes me to be better and not allow myself to let others run over me, a man that has taken on the huge responsibility of raising my son as his own. I never thought I would ever be where I am today. Today I am happy, my son is happy, and we are finally going down the path that I can look back and be proud of and be proud of the steps I have taken and the choices I made to better our lives. For that I will be forever grateful. I look forward to creating more artwork that has such deep meaning and will inspire and encourage other people in this world to be better and heal their hearts. 

Continuing My Journey

At this point in my journey I was making great progress. In January 2010, I reconnected with old friend from high school, Nick. We have known each other for a long time, and what is funny, so many times through out the years we were at the same places at the same time, hanging out with the same mutual friends on occasion, but had never seen each other in any other way but friends. We started dating, not seriously, but hanging out a lot. We talked about everything, shared so much of our pasts with each other and realized how much we had in common and had been through many of the same type of situations in relationships, with our parents, etc. We got along so well and really enjoyed each others company.

I had started a new treatment in counseling called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) This is a process that takes the negative feelings and thoughts and helps neutralize them. This was, at the beginning, a very hard process to go through. I had a hard time separating feelings from the past with feelings for Nick and ended up putting too many of my feelings that did not belong to him on him. He was amazing throughout this process and really helped me focus on what and where things and feelings should be. He was very easy to talk to and express what I was going through and helped push me when I really needed it. I was falling too fast for him and he was struggling with the idea of a built in family. In May, we decided on a break. At this point I started running, deciding I was going to run a marathon, and was really working on myself. That summer, I took Carson's dad to court and that was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but got most of what I wanted and thought was best for Carson. He was only allowed to get Carson once a month, we switch every other Thanksgiving and Christmas, he gets him every spring break, and then 42 days in the summer. That summer Carson was gone for 2 weeks, the longest he had ever been away from me. This was the worst thing for me at the time. I really had some set backs and really struggled, but made it through it with the help of my co-workers and family. Both Nick and I dated other people during the break and in November he reached out to me again. I really was not sure about this and at the same time wanted it more then anything. We both had talked about how we compared each other to the ones we had dated and just wasn't the other person. At the same time I was still training for a marathon and had reduced counseling down to once a month, not realizing that running was like doing EMDR on myself. I had progressed so much and had really healed and gained so much confidence in myself and who I was as a woman and mother. Things between Nick and I had started to progress and on New Years at midnight he told me he loved me for the first time.